To Be Young

It is officially summertime at the gig.  Which means intern season.  Every year we get a great batch of kids.  I mean the kind of kids that make you want to actually have some in the hopes that they will turn out to be as polite and mannerable as the young men or as smart and kind as the young ladies.  One other thing the 'kids' spark in me, is a regret that I really wasted my youth not being as proactive and career driven as I should have been.  I was foolish enough to think the world really was my oyster and I had so much time to kill.  Whether it be with less than worthy 'boyfriends' or dead-end jobs that did not do much for my skillset or resume.  I was focused on the wrong thing:  living life.  I wanted life to rush hard and fast at me, but did not think it would sweep me up in it's mist in order to mature and essentially age me.

I thought I was so smart and well put together, but in hindsight, I had no clue what the hell I was doing and where I was heading.  I knew I wanted to live.  I would cringe whenever people asked what I wanted to do.  I had no idea.  I wanted to get paid a respectable and livable wage and make the rest of it up as I went along.  My major concerns as a younger woman was having a man.  Having fun.  Kicking it.  What 32-year-old MJ knows in contrast to 18, 19, 20-year-old MJ is I could have been laying the groundwork for that then and doing those things now.  I guess the thought of 32 seemed so old.  Back then, my futuristic, and might I add idealistic and unrealistic eye, had me married with a few kids.  My husband would be a professional of some kind, making lots of money.  We would live downtown or on the North Side.  I would be chillin' with a boutique my husband would have bought for me or be a stay-at-home mom or even someone with a cool job that allowed me to dress professionally fly.  Yeah, that's how shallow my thought process was, I just wanted a 'cool job'.  I wish I was more focused.  I wish I put some thought into having a specific accredited skill.  I wish I knew that life did not have to stop at 30.  That there is a whole lot more life to live and enjoy.

I see these kids and I think, 'what if?'