Usually he gives me an update on an ex-boyfriend of mine who is one of his oldest friends. We ended on a sour note. Essentially he got freaked out about how serious the relationship was growing, we had an uncomfortable and heated discussion, then after two days of no communication from either party, he sent an e-mail to break up with me. I know, a real class act. Anyway, anyone who was around me at that time would tell you that I was heartbroken, angry and depressed. But I never again contacted him beyond our last discussion.
Every time my cousin and I speak about the ex, he reveals their personal conversations about the subject (that's my cousin, that's how we roll). The nuts and bolts is, dude misses me and realizes that he messed up. After the tumultuous relationship that followed, he would confide in my cousin that he and I never really had any issues, that he was immature and scared and that he would love to get back what we had. Here's the problem (for him, not me) he will not even call me now. Why you ask? Because he is embarrassed at his lack of maturation. He feels shame for letting a 'good thing' go. He feels foolish for being a jerk to someone who was good to him. So although I hold not one grudge against him, his own guilt won't allow him to even encounter me on Facebook or by phone. The truth of the matter, I think he would be a cool friend. That is why I liked him in the first place, his sense of humor and good conversation.
The lesson I would like to pass on, you can cuss people out until you are blue in the face. You can slash tires, come up to someone's workplace, stalk or harass them. But as a good girlfriend of mine, who is a practicing Christian has said, it's not your battle. If you hand it over to God, he will take care of you and the situation better than anything you could dream of or imagine. I could have fussed him and made the issue bigger than it was, but I would have come across looking not only foolish, but as if I cared. Although I did care, he didn't need to know that. Now he is the one still feeling uncomfortable nearly three years after the fact. Now he can't face me. I love how the tables turn. Luke 20:43