5 Questions For Him

They're baaack!  I felt like we were long overdue for another installment of 5QFH.  For this go-round, I brought back two favorites, John and Jay and added a newbie to the mix.  His name will be 'Ron'.  He is 42, in a relationship, no kids and has never been married.  I decided my questions would be retrospective and summer influenced.  The answers tickled me.

The Questions...
1.  In your life, what have you found to be the benefits of being in a relationship as opposed to being
     single?
2.  What are some major differences between how you handle relationships at your current age and 10  
     years ago?
3.  What would you tell your 22-year-old self about relationships?  About life itself?
4.  It's summertime.  What's your favorite thing about women's apparel?  What do you like to see or
     look forward to this time of the year?
5.  What's your favorite old school place you recall picking up girls?

The Answers...

Jay

This question is pretty loaded in that I want to be careful not to make one “relationship status” any better, or more important, than the other. I will preface my answer by stating that there are ways for me to be effective and make personal progress in either state. Each stage has presented me with opportunities to grow as an individual (whether I utilize the opportunity is an entirely different story!).  The stage that I am at currently is an introspective one. I’m reading a book and the author describes that men have three “hoods” in which we can dwell; “malehood”, “boyhood”, and “manhood”. Having said that, one of the benefits in being in a relationship is that it offers me the chance to dwell in the hood of “manhood” as a husband. As a man, I like to accomplish things and find where I can truly be “great”. For me right now, being great as a husband is the adventure that I couldn’t embark on as a single person. This is an entirely different state of living. While I can be a great single person (which I wasn’t great at all) and still dwell in “manhood” as a single person, a relationship allows me to direct all the passion and affection I have to give toward one individual. I get to plant seeds in one place and look for a harvest of love, affection, and respect from one place. As a single person, I couldn’t focus because I was too busy searching for “the one”. I was distracted by the search and all of the games it can sometimes involve. Being in a relationship allows me to focus and be intent on the direction in which I spend my time, money, and attention. So, in the end, a personal benefit to being in a relationship is a concerted effort in one direction that can be a wonderful, and fulfilling, experience that is reciprocated by another.

How I handle relationships now is totally different. As a twenty-something it was much more superficial. I really had no clue what to expect from a relationship so I was putting in random things. Sometimes I was a gentleman; sometimes a freak; sometimes the playboy...essentially all over the place depending upon what I wanted emotionally and physically at the time. Now, I have a much more clear expectation of what I desire to get out of a relationship. I heard something that has crafted my thought process and actions when it comes to relationships: “Women are built to grow and return the seed that has been given to them (e.g. baby). For a man, if you don’t like what your woman is given back to you, check what seed you are planting”. I am much more careful what seed I am planting now. I don’t look at what she is doing/ not doing, I look at what I present to her and adjust my actions accordingly. It has worked seamlessly since utilizing this wisdom I received.

I would give my 22 year old silly self the same advice that I was offered. Also, I would tell myself to “be and do what you do not have or see.” Essentially, be proactive in reaching inside of yourself and be great. You didn’t have a great father, so what, be a great father. You don’t have a lot of mentors, so what, begin to mentor someone else. You don’t have the pedigree of (fill in blank), so what, work your butt off and be as great as you are destined to be...Oh yeah, leave that young hood chick alone, you know you are not going to marry her!

I love everything about summer apparel on women...except those blasted leggings! There are sometimes that I have to look away, not because I’m married and I’m not supposed to, but because of the ratchedness that is being presented! Please leave the leggings alone if you got curds and whey attached to the back of your legs and behind! I really enjoy a well put together woman that utilizes color and her natural beauty to stand out. I love Transformers, but some of these women are decepticons when it comes to the way they look. Fake lashes, hair, body parts, spanx, etc. They are a totally different person. It’s 90 degrees outside, I know you hot under that lace-front wig, boo!

I used to love meeting girls at the mall. You had your good outfit on, she had her “hair did” with her cute outfit on...I could even front like I had some money by walking around with a huge Footlocker bag (even though it was just socks). I actually was pretty bad at picking up girls so I don’t have a lot of stories to display my prowess. Actually, I was pretty good at hooking up during the summer camps my mom would send me to. Probably no different than the reality t.v. shows. If it’s 10 boys and 10 girls staying somewhere for a few weeks, SOMEBODY IS GOING TO HOOK UP!

Ron

I think the biggest benefit to being in a relationship, is the fact that you have a companion in your corner for the bad times as well as the good. Sometimes you may not have that extra support when you need it, as a single person.

I would say some of the major differences between handling relationships now vs. 10 years ago, would be, more patience, more appreciation, and definitely realizing the benefit of quality over quantity.

Be more attentive, patient, make thoughtful decisions, and try to look at the big picture.

Anything that shows and/or compliments, the booty, hips, thighs, and pair of beautiful legs!

Back in the day it was McDonald's on 95th and Halsted, Wendy's on 87th and Stony, and White Castle on 79th and South Chicago.

John

There aren't benefits to being in a relationship versus single.  A relationship really has no perks with the exemption of guaranteed sex partner and no pressure to satisfy in the sack.  Being single has all the perks, it has all the benefits of the most important resource...time.  Time to do what I want and when I want.

The major difference for me has been compassion and patience.  Ten years ago I would make a girl cry then get mad and further attack her because I genuinely didn't get the crying...now at my old age, I simply try to hold back my first choice of words and pull a what would a person with a softer side do or say?

This is easy I'd tell my 22 year old self to stay doing what you do playa...at least as far as relationships.  About life...dude it gets harder.  Follow your heart and passions not the checkbook.  Money will come if you are content....

Honestly.. I hate seeing the sandals and feet.  Women think its sexy so I guess that's why all I see is toes...I like women in jeans, T-shirts, and max's!  I look forward to sitting on them 24s on the avalanche.  Sorry I'm a simple man, apparel don't make my year...

I don't pick up chicks...chicks pick me up!