A girlfriend of mine recently told me that she has declined some of my 'events' and get-togethers, because she is 'too old to meet anyone new'. In her words, every time she hears about me doing something, it involves new and different people. People she does not know. I told her if she came out more, not only would she know the people, but I would have 'old friends' there instead of all my newbies. Along the same mindset, a friend said that I was too social, because I hang out with new people and co-workers. I think this is funny.
There was a time when I only socialized with about 2 different people max- usually at different times. I would not go anywhere alone and I always had to be accompanied by 1 or 2 of my 'stables'. Overtime, I learned that I was not only wearing my friends out, but I also put too much pressure on those couple of individuals to be my mainstays- my everything. If I had a wedding, it was that person or I wouldn't go. A party? You know who I was going to call. If it was something I was interested in, I had to compromise or convince them of the good time they would have. If I fell out with a friend, or wasn't feeling them, I felt lonely and had to go back to square one to find a 'replacement'.
But in time, I saw the error in this. It made no sense and I was constantly stressed, making adjustments or bargaining to get my way. I asked God, yes God, to bless me with new and more improved friends. When I say improved, I mean, I wanted them to be well rounded, have similar interests as me and add value to my life. I also prayed for help being a better friend to my friends. As always, He took care of things. I started not only meeting new people, but I was more receptive to them and doing things outside the box. My new friends seemed to share my interests and were open to new ideas. I no longer have to plead for an individual to do what I want. Instead, I find the friend who is most likely to appreciate the activity and enjoy the outing with them. Plus, I get to mix things up socially while giving my friends a break from me. I know, I can't imagine why anyone would want a break from me either.
Tomorrow I am meeting a new friend for after work cocktails. It will be our first outing. She works across the hall and is friendly. So why not? Cheers!
I agree. Each "friend" has a different purpose and that's ok. Glad you're stepping out of the box.
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