I made it to the church house today. I woke up at 7:01am and thought, "let me take my ass to church." Yep, just like that. I had some things on my mind that I could not shake, and I felt it best to take it to the One who can handle it best. I took it to the Lord. It felt good to lay my 'burdens down'. I was late and extremely casual. But I knew my attendance was more important than my appearance. If I can go 3 weeks in a row, it will increase the chance of me forming the habit of going on a regular basis again.
During prayer time, I turned to my neighbor and lifted two names up as my concerns. I included the individuals' names and was sincere in my thought and request. The first was a no brainer, someone in my life has been suffering from an injury that has had him out of commission for the past couple of weeks. The second was a woman who has recently come into my life. I thought she was nice at first, then I learned of our connection. We share a mutual friend. She new who I was, but I, only a short time ago learned of her full identity. With my new knowledge, I can go back down memory lane and know for sure, she has never been genuine or kind. She is a shit starter and it pissed me off. It has been on my mind and it makes me leery of any future interactions.
Instead of whining to others about her, I decided to hand it over to the all knowing. I felt no one would actually understand and I would have to reveal too much to get my point across. Yesterday I watched an episode of 'Oprah's Next Chapter' that my mom had recorded. Oprah interviewed 50 Cent, who said something to the effect of: 'you either pray or worry, it makes no sense to do both'. I have always thought 50 was smart and I liked hearing what he had to say, but that rang so true. It has been a new mantra for me. I will not worry about this person any longer. She will not rent space in my brain or thoughts. Clarity feels good.