Ex-Blues Me

Today I have the blues. It is most likely the result of the hormonal changes that take place in my body once a month. Need I say more? Anyway, today is one of those days. I was up early, but decided not to rush off to 7:30 service. Instead I told myself I would go to the 6pm service. It is 5:14 and I have no desire to move. I have been in this position all day. I hate days like this. My mind wants to go out and get some sun and fresh air, but my heart is not in it. Everybody is annoying with the exception of a few. I want human contact, but I feel guilty for subjecting someone to my blah-type mood. I want to be held, kissed and hugged. But at the same time not touched too much.

Today I am a bum. I do not have energy for anything, but I feel compelled to do something. LV asked me what I wanted to do and I responded, 'I don't know.' I just sent a follow-up text, stating if he wanted to take a nap over here he could. I'm just grabbing for anything. Poor baby, not him, me. Oh well, we will see how this day ends. My mom says that sometimes you need rest. That may explain why I have been in the bed all day, sleeping off and on. I cannot stand people who do that, so I feel like a real loser when I do.

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. Everyone should have a day when they are not responsible for anything, when they take it easy and just lounge. I mean there is someone right now, who is at his or her 3rd job. They would love to do absolutely nothing. There is a mother of a toddler who wants desperately to zone out and nap for a few hours. I guess I need to count my blessings. At least I have the luxury to do such a thing. The problem is, it is an overwhelming feeling of blue. I do not feel I need to take a rest, but my body is responding otherwise. Prayerfully I will feel better tomorrow.