She wants to lead the glamorous life!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Pole-ar Opposites

So last night, Nicole and I went to Flirty Girl Fitness to take a pole dancing class. I have hardly any upper body strength, so this was more than a notion. But we wanted to try it and set out to see what the class was about. For the record, if you're wondering, we would make AWFUL strippers! Between my lack of coordination and Nicole's "I smell something" face, I don't know how much money we'd make. The pole is scary and dangerous. I pulled muscles in both arms during the warm-up alone! Who knew laying on your back while hoisting your legs in the air while making your legs and butt jiggle would cause temporary paralysis in my arms! Anyway, it was during my class that I realized my major issue. Besides the fact that lifting 155 lbs on two weak arms ain't easy, the main hindrance to my stripping career is: I'm too damn sweaty. You see sweat causes you to stick, to the pole, to the floor, to your clothes. The instructor and two regular students had arm sweat bands, leg warmers and/or gloves. This gave them the slippery momentum to swing with ease. I, on the other hand, often found myself on the floor in a pretzel-like tangle. Not sexy nor cute. This led me to research stripper injuries. It turns out not only do our beloved exotic dancers endure injury, their patrons do as well. There are a few lawsuits I found on the web from the past few years involving flying stilettos, broken mirrors and high-heel-clad kicks to the face resulting in broken noses and permanent double vision. So the next time you visit a strip club (if that's your thing, I'm not judging, I'm all for putting some young tenderoni through school. Maya loves the kids!) make sure to tip your stripper and tip her well. She works hard for the money. Below you'll find a two-part article on how to avoid occupational injuries as an exotic dancer. I'm also including Tina Turner's, Private Dancer.

Avoiding Occupational Injuries as an Exotic Dancer, Part 1
As many dancers know, exotic dancing or stripping can take its toll on the skin, muscles, joints, and tendons. With just a little preperation, adult performers at all levels can protect their health for years to come.
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Avoiding Occupational Injuries as an Exotic Dancer Part 2
If you've managed to follow the guidelines in Part 1, there are still several other simple ways for you to improve your health as a dancer and ensure that your joints will still be functioning well in the years to come.
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  1. THIS IS HILARIOUS...I always wanted to take one of those classes. Now, not so much...

  2. It's a workout Alexis, but don't be fooled by the professionals. It's not easy.