...and baby makes three.

One of my longtime girlfriends (we'll refer to her as Tizzle) is due to deliver her baby soon, in a matter of weeks, two to be exact. I am so very happy for her and her man. I am excited about and for the baby and welcome her entrance into the world. She is already truly blessed to have wonderful, thoughtful and kind parents. With this said, I know how motherhood changes EVERYTHING. I know that Tizzle and I will no longer be able to just call each other up on a whim to get Italian ice and visit the thrift store. Me holding Tizzle's full attention during a phone conversation, is just days away from being almost completely nonexistent. As a mother, she will not be able to cater to me as she used to, for this I am mature enough to accept and understand. It's one of the things I love about all of my girlfriends with kids, they are ALL great mothers. I'm not saying that to just say something, I am truly being honest when I say each one is AWESOME. I would not stand for anything less from my friends. So for this reason, I took Tizzle on a date to mark our last non-mommy days together. We went to Carnivale, an upscale Latin/Caribbean restaurant downtown. The ambiance was beautiful; we had a good time. I slightly mourn the loss of our single girl relationship, but my love for her and the baby overshadow any ill feelings.

Tizzle marks yet another girlfriend who has taken the leap to parenthood and/or marriage. My number of single, ride or die friends is slowly, but surely dwindling down. I have six left. Now don't get me wrong I encourage and pray that ALL of my friends will have the relationships and/or family life they desire. My-My loves the kids! But the more people start taking on new lives, my instinct is that I'm somehow lacking or not keeping up with what is appropriate for a woman my age. Every breakup, every single night spent alone has me feeling my time is slipping away. I never want to hold my friends back and no one could/would accuse me of being a 'hater'. But sometimes your friends can be a good gage of what's expected of you. I am happy for the choices I've made in my life and would not trade anything. One thing I feel I was just getting the hang of was, grown-up kickin' it. Although I have always traveled, I feel as though I'm just getting the hang of TRAVELING. You know, leaving the country, meeting up with friends in different cities, scheduling and coordinating flights to coincide with parties and making it back to work on Monday like nothing ever happened. Yeah that type of grown a$$ woman kickin' it with my friends. Even within the city, going to each other's house to sip wine and talk $hit. Enjoying festivals that we just happened upon. I know what you're thinking, that I'm being obnoxious. That nothing THAT major is going to change, but unless you have been in my shoes, you would not understand. Especially if you're a mother and/or wife. You do not understand how hard it is to coordinate a simple dinner date. You cannot realize the sinking feeling when at the 11th hour you inform me that you cannot attend whatever event because your babysitter canceled. Or your husband forgot about your (our) plans, even though we made them and you apparently told him about a month ago. You don't know how hard it is to try to have a conversation on the phone and you keep talking to a whiny toddler or (in my sister's case) stop mid-sentence to cuss out and threaten the lives of your offsprings. You probably have forgotten how it feels to have your girl, upon hearing your request for time, tell you she has to talk to 'him' first to see what he has planned. And you probably have a hard time understanding how uncomfortable it is to be forced to interact with your husband/boyfriend/baby's father after hearing such glowing reviews of him. That's sarcasm, because we both know how many times we've discussed what a complete a$$hole he can be! But somehow in his presence I have to pretend I know none of these things. Yeah, reach back into your memory banks...

With all that said, I cannot wait for my turn!!! One day soon I hope to see you on the 'other side'...of marriage and mommy-hood.