I had a really good weekend. On Saturday, I spent the night/early morning with a boy. We will refer to him as Jacob. He and I have been casually chatting on the phone and flirting via text for about two months now. I have visited his house once before and we have spent limited time together previously. We first met in '99 or '00. After losing contact for several years, we reunited on, where else, Facebook. I was hesitant, but decided to give him another chance and 'explore' a possible relationship. The funny thing is, we are relatively comfortable with each other and get along quite well. But, just because you knew someone in the past, does not mean they are even remotely the same person now. You have to start all over. It has to be as if you have never met. Also, I do not ever take for granted a 'new' man's life, their lifestyle or their true dating status. Unless we have set some initial ground rules or put a title on the situation, I assume nothing.
Moving along, we met up earlier in the night and reconnected after about 2 a.m. Yes, granny was up past midnight. We went back to his place to chill. A little snuggling ensued, a kiss or two while watching 'Bad Boys'. I was getting tired and joked about taking a nap. He asked if I wanted to stretch out in the bedroom. I said, 'sure'. We get in there, and he immediately apologized about the room's condition. So that you can get a visual, his house is a true man's bachelor pad. To use his words, 'I'm a dude.' Sidebar: I like that a bit too. Probably, because I too can be junky. When I meet extra meticulous men, I get nervous about what they may think when they see my place. Anyway, the room is completely dark with the exception of the very dim cast of light from the lamp posts outside. He asked if I needed him to leave the room while I changed into a t-shirt he provided, I said no need (I have perfected the quick change). He was a complete gentleman the entire night.
We get in the bed and cuddle some more while spooning occasionally. Now, he slept like a baby, snoring, talking in his sleep, I on the other hand, not completely comfortable with the new surroundings, slept very light, if at all. Mind you, at this time, it's well past 3 a.m. The sun is soon to come up. And when it does, it hits my eyes through the pale off-white blinds. I rolled over to face the window directly, as I opened my eyes, there 'they' were. To my curious mind's eye, in direct line with my vision was a scummy pair of women's underwear! Yep, some woman's draws! They were too big to be his daughter's, and I had mine on, so they most definitely were another woman's. I can honestly say, 'I have never...'. The funny thing is, I was not shocked, surprised or even angry, just interested. Whose panties were these? And why were they so gross-looking?
So here is the dilemma, how do you bring this up? He is not my man, we are not in a relationship and it is his house. I just do not ever want to encounter it again. So today while at work, I get a text. We start chatting about our day and the visit. I joked about him talking in his sleep. Then I not-so-gracefully segued into the conversation with a: 'since we're talking about Saturday night, let me segue into another topic'. He was opened to the shift. I told him about my discovery. He said he saw them as well when he woke up and was pissed. Apparently, he let's his brother use his crib as a jump-off spot. He said he royally cussed his brother out and was embarrassed to think, what I might think. I explained that we had no particular ties and he was free to do whatever. But he quickly responded that appearances mean everything, and if something 'went down' that night (which it did not; we had a wholesome cuddle-fest) it would have come across extremely negative regardless of the story. He added that it would have not made him look good at all. He apologized and laughed at my 'scummy' draws comment.
I explained to him that back in the day, I was truly the 'aww hell to tha naw' type of girl. But that I am too old and too tired to go around jumping to conclusions and cussing EVERY-body out to prove my point. Instead, I collect the facts as they are presented, form my own conclusions and move forward the way I see fit. Instead of asking, 'who the fuck is she?', now I meditate on the type of person the man has presented himself to be. I let his actions be my guide to trust and his ultimate believability. I do not sweat the small stuff; in the end, it usually does not matter. Panties would typically go under a 'big stuff' category, but in this case it did not come across that way. My major concern was, what does this say about him, if he dates girls that wear Dollar Store panties to go screw?? I wish I took a picture of these things, it looked like she had gone to the playground with a skirt on and played in the sandbox, for an hour.
In the end, the situation turned into a great 'icebreaker' for a lightweight text discussion on trust and anger management. He complimented me on my attitude and said he handles issues the same way. I like him. Who knew strange panties could be such a unifying factor?