I have recently started dating someone. You could say he is my boyfriend. He is originally from Ghana and very nice. Having only been here for about 2 years, his English can be a bit shaky at times. I have to go as far as asking him to spell certain words he’s trying to say and he will ask me to ‘break it down’ sometimes when I use a phrase that does not make sense to him. We spend a great deal of time saying ‘what?’ and ‘what do you mean?’.
The language barrier forces us to be patient and very deliberate when we speak. I benefit because as someone who is still mastering the English language, he says what he means and means what he says. Instead of dealing with dudes hiding their feelings and playing verbal and mental games, I have someone who, whether by force or on purpose, speaks his mind. In the past I have dated brothas who use ambiguous terms like: we’re cool or let’s take it easy and see what happens. Then look at you crazy when you start dating someone else.
Mr. Ghana says: I like you a lot. You make me feel proud. I am sooo happy right now. I felt good today thinking about our conversation last night. I am missing you already. To which I respond honestly myself. Which is something I usually do, but it blows up in my face. Or I find myself being just as conniving as the person I’m talking to.
I don’t know where this relationship will go, but I like the way it’s starting. I feel freer, because I’m not wound up trying to interpret bullshit! In English no less! I’m not second guessing my actions or words. I don’t feel guilty or lame for calling back-to-back. In fact he usually answers the phone with a reason for why he could not answer initially. I feel grateful to have someone, no matter the color or culture, just be nice. It makes this dating/mating ‘game’ so much more fun and bearable.