Hot as Hades

Chicago is having one of it's typical hot and muggy summers. I welcome this, because I am not a fan of the cold weather. However, the downside for me with the hot and sticky summer is, that ever since I moved out of my parent's house and have lived on my own, I have never EVER owned an air-conditioner. This may seem unbearable and crazy, but for five years, I have relied on open windows, my penchant for in-house nudity, fans, cold showers and ice cold water. This is not as bad as it sounds. Except there is this one issue that looms every season...the loud 'ninjas' that live next door! Listen, I am all for section 8 and integrating neighborhoods, but these fools bar-b-que EVERYday! They play there V-103, cuss the 43 random kids out and talk loudly about everything from how one of them bought a House of Dereon outfit that's too small that made her want to "beat Beyonce's ass!" to the 16-year-old girl who thinks 'she's grown' because she has a baby. My bedroom window is nearest to their back porch. I don't know how many people live in that building or at least in that one apartment, but it sounds like at least 62! They have a favorite person Shirley whose name they call often (she's a gemini like me so she gets a pass for being annoying; I know this because they celebrated her birthday around my birthday...I digress). There's a man who seems to represent for the male population and I'd be foolish to think there isn't plenty of alcohol. Have I ever had the desire to shout shut the F*%k up!? Yes! But, I think all 96 of them would scale my building to my 3rd floor apartment and commence to whoop my a$$! So I simply turn my T.V. up louder and raise my voice when talking on the phone. When my friend asks who is in my apartment at midnight, I just tell him, the 'people in the alley'. He responds, in shock, "they are outSIDE'. Yep! But forever on my nerves!