Lately I have been dreaming and dreaming and dreaming. I typically dream a little, but especially and more vividly during those special times of the month when my 'girlfriend' is in town. But that was weeks ago, and I have not been able to stop. The dreams are random, clear and leave me exhausted in the morning. I finally came to the resolve that I am stressed or worried, about what I wasn't sure.
The dreams have involved everything from the morbid to the weird. The night before last I dreamed about attending a funeral with a former boyfriend at a hospital that doubled as an open-spaced, island-like funeral home. I kept wondering and finally it came to me, I am stressed about work. Last night confirmed my suspicions. I first dreamed that we had some important people visiting our CEO in the office. I was being nosey and collecting My Coke Reward points from discarded pop cases in a recycling bin (I do this in real life). My goal was to pull the tabs before the two men came around the corner, but instead I tripped over and toppled the wastebasket in front of them. My CEO shook his head, made a 'you're so stupid comment' and walked away while chuckling. I was totally disregarded, but giggled and felt embarrassed at the same time. After that dream, I snapped at a co-worker who was getting on my nerves. I shouted, calling him something horrible which made him leave the room in silence. Then I dreamed of being in a beachfront California-style house with a concrete parking lot instead of sand. I was allowed to visit the first floor, but the second was reserved for the owner. Somehow, we snuck up there anyway. And a slow stressful, chase of sorts, ensued.
Yep, I'm stressed about work. It is official. My co-worker and friend had her baby (finally) on Monday, and I am now responsible for a lot of her workload during the maternity leave. I did not realize how bad it would affect me. But I know now; that's what I have been having anxiety about. We kept trying to meet beforehand to discuss what would be expected of me during her absence, but it never seemed like I had enough information. Now that I have covered her for three days so far, I am still having the dreams, but I am sleeping a little better. I have been busy since she's been gone. Last night, I realized I had not even read Essence.com yesterday. Crazy, I know, but I read it everyday! Yes, that's how I gauge my busy-ness, 'do I have time to read a little Essence.com during the day?'
Now that I know what's bothering me, I have been praying. Not so much just for sleep, but rest. My goal is to have less anxiety-filled dreams and more sound sleep, allowing me to wake more refreshed.
A girl can dream can't she??