She wants to lead the glamorous life!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I Didn't Mean To Turn You On

Sunday, when I woke, I began to write this very long and detailed post about a text tiff I had in the wee hours of the morning.  When I say 'wee', I'm talking 2:48am, Sunday morning to be exact.  First, let me say, I usually cut all alerts, except phone calls off when I sleep.  For whatever reason, I did not do so that night.  So the text woke me up.  I was not happy.  Second, unless we are a couple, or dating, you cannot communicate with me at all times of the night, after 9:30pm, to be specific.  I am irritated by the whole situation.  Furthermore, the text exchange I had with this man, who we'll call Jack, was so entertaining and audacious that I wanted to blog in detail about the entire communication.  Five descriptive  paragraphs in, and my girls were calling for details about the apple orchard outing I had coordinated.  I had to go.  So I saved what I had, with the intent to come back later and finish.  After thinking about it further, I decided not to put the gentleman on blast.  For a couple of reasons, but mainly because I feel the issue is not limited to just him.

To make a long story short, we were digging each other, apparently, but had very different ways of showing it.  I invited him to a major sporting event, which he could not attend, fine.  No hard feelings.  He, however, proceeded to discuss my physique via text.  What he considered letting me know that he 'liked' me, I thought was downright disrespectful.  He called himself admiring my body.  I felt objectified. To him, he made it blatantly obvious that he liked me.  But I thought he did not take me serious.

But he is not the only one.  I have another young man, who calls himself liking me, but just sends me random texts or gives me verbal compliments on how well I carry myself.  I do not mind this, but in both cases my confusion is, why not just ask me out on a date?  Jack, seemed puzzled as to why I did not understand his flirting.  The other young man keeps saying how cruel I am to him because he never sees me outside of my workplace.  For the record, he is not a co-worker.  He is a regular delivery guy, who I see rather frequently on the job.  I told him I was ok with hanging out, but I get the feeling he wants me to make the first move.

Do men even 'court' anymore?  I do not want to set the tone in a pending relationship, taking on the role of the 'man' or dominant force.  I have enough in my life to think about.  I do not want to have to coordinate every aspect of my love life either.  Jack finally texted, 'Fine can I take you out sometime?'  I responded, yes.  You see, I'm not mad at him, but rather disappointed that no one has previously explained to him how to treat a grown woman, a lady.  It is well into the fall season.  School is now officially in session.


  1. School 'em, Maya! Somebody has to do it!

  2. Poor guy...doesn't know what he has gotten himself into! LOL

    But seriously, I feel like we have to be girlfriends and mothers with these men. Not mothers in the sense of taking care of, but in the sense of teaching them the proper way to treat a lady: open the door, walk on outside of the street, pay the dinner bill (worth a blog all it's own), don't knock me over to get on the elevator first (oh sorry, pet peeve of mine)....etc, etc

    If he's really into you, he will be a quick study!