So as some of you might know by now, Mr. Ghana is now Mr. Gone-a! Although he was cute and had some positive points, our relationship's demise came down to one redundant and torturous issue: HIS HOMEWORK! That's right, his homework is the reason we have not spoken since Tuesday, Sept. 21st.
I did not talk about it much, because I really was not sure how I wanted to express my discomfort and irritation doing this for him, but now who cares? It started out innocently enough, he was overwhelmed with assignments for his class and asked if I could answer some discussion questions. My face must have said everything, because he started back-peddling and said I did not have to, but in a guilt-ridden sort of way. Me, trying to be the supporting girlfriend broke down and agreed to do it. I mean, I'm trying to be less 'selfish', in an effort to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship that will lead to marriage and kids one day. Plus, he promised this would not be a common occurrence. That was about 8 assignments ago!
This knee-gro, after an argument on the subject, said that as his girlfriend, I am 'supposed to help' him. That if I 'call myself his girlfriend' I should be willing to do this, especially if he is sacrificing doing his schoolwork to work for pay (he is a cab driver). According to him, when he makes money I benefit, so this should not be a problem.
The straw that broke this camel's back was Rip Van Winkle. He is taking an English/Literature/Writing (I don't exactly know which) class this semester. The teacher is spending a major portion of the semester focusing on Rip Van Winkle (it's community college). I have not only discussed this story with him, I have pulled it up on the internet so he too could read it, I typed up a summary of my opinion of the story (according to him just so he could have my thoughts on paper if he needed to review again later). So you can imagine how I felt when, while enjoying a nice brisk lakefront walk on a beautiful Sunday with my girl, I get a call saying he will meet me on 39th and LSD to scoop us up so that he may give me his assignment to 'finish' for him. It was not until I reached home that I realized this dude had only written about a paragraph, if that! Are you serious! More upsetting is the fact that earlier in the day you asked me to provide you with a wake-up call for your 2-3 hour nap. So you mean, you're napping, knowing full-well you have this 3-page paper due the next day? His response, a cabby friend called un-expectantly to let him know of a conference in town that should drum up a lot of business, meaning some good money was to be made. He had planned on doing the work, but could not pass up this opportunity.
The fact that it was Sunday, my chill day, made me nearly spit fire in irritation and anger! That little accent had officially lost all cuteness. But I'm not done. The break-up occurred when he asked me to read yet another Rip Van Winkle paper that he wrote, this time at my leisure. At my leisure to me translated to mean, when I finish polishing my toes and maybe tomorrow during my lunch break. Well to him, in what I believe to be an effort to avoid saying the words I need your help, it meant proofread and make any necessary corrections for my 8am class tomorrow. I received a call bright an early. He wanted to know if I had a chance to do this. 'No', was my response. I explained how I did not know he wanted me to proof it, but rather read it to give him my thoughts on the work he had done. Furthermore, I asked him to make sure in the future to say specifically what he needed of me to ensure I actually do it. This irritated the mess out of him. In his opinion, by saying read it at my leisure, I should have picked up on the implication that he needed my help. Which he added I am so opposed to doing. This of course angered me. I told him I would try to get it done before work, but never looked at it and never called him again.
He called me the next day to see if I still needed his help with my father's will signing ceremony. I said no, that I had someone who could fill in for him. We haven't spoken since. Neither has called the other and I am here to tell you, I feel just fine. My friend's mother told me recently that my current desires to settle down, get married and have children dictates that I have little, if any, time to mess around with men who aren't on my level. When I described him to her, she said "so he is not where you are...you don't have time to waste." I told her I would give him about 3-6 months to see how I felt, to which she said that was too long. Well his ass didn't make it that far anyway. I feel completely indifferent and have not looked back since.
In conclusion, here's the silver lining. The blessing is, I just met someone new last night on my way to church. We're supposed to have dinner plans next Wednesday when he returns from his business trip. You know what they say, when one door closes, God either opens a new door, opens a window, or just tears the damn roof off!