I had a refreshing conversation the other day. It was with a girlfriend that I have known for 14 years. As on far too many occasions, I woke up with my mind racing. I was second guessing myself about an issue and needed a bit of advice. I called my uncle. I called my best friend Antoine. Neither one answered. It was 6:30AM. But I figured since they are both on the East Coast, they might be up and at 'em. No such luck. So I called my girl. She was fixing her lunch and getting herself and the baby ready to leave for the morning. God bless working moms! We chatted off and on until 8AM (hanging up when necessary) as she dropped the baby off at school, pumped gas and drove herself to work.
I gave her the scenario which had me concerned and she gave me an honest answer. More importantly, she gave me an answer that best suited me. I have learned the importance of having people who are like you around. Now, obviously, if you have serious issues, you may want to upgrade your friend list. But if that is not the case, it is good to have someone who can see things from your angle. Yes, you want people to tell you the truth, but if it comes served with you and your behavior in mind, it tends to resonate more. My girl is very similar to me. She and I have had a long lasting relationship because we have similar values and ideas about life and love. We have the same taste in clothes (the majority of my hand-me-down wardrobe comes from her), we are about the same size (though not now, she is pregnant with her second child) and enjoy the same foods, outings and entertainment. In a nutshell, if anybody can see things from my perspective, it is her.
Having someone around to give you the sobering 'devil's advocate' truth is nice and all, but it is good to have someone who actually gets you. I have a friend who is quite the opposite. She gives good advice, but there are times when I think her approach is stinging and sharp. I almost have to explain myself, to explain my point of view. But with a friend whom I share a more congenial relationship with, they already know. So the advice is more tailored toward me. I do not need anyone to hold punches, but after ending the phone conversation, it felt comforting to know that I was not only understood, but validated. It was divine order that I spoke to her and no one else. In advising me, and because she knows me so well, she presented a detailed portrait of how she saw the situation and the role I played within it. Demonstrating how my decision was a direct result of the type of person I am; she confirmed that there was no need to worry about the issue that hung over my head, because in the end, I was right.