Do you have friends or fans in your life? I have a friend, *Pat, who can be a bit entertaining on Facebook. Pat has mastered being coy enough to get curious responses and brash and honest enough to keep the comments and 'Likes' coming. Pat is a friend. I like Pat. But Pat's 'Friend List' is filled with more gawking onlookers than actual friends. I think Pat likes this. Which made me wonder, how many of us have fans as opposed to friends?
Well, let's first make the distinction between fans and friends. A fan will 'Like' all comments and posts, making sure to respond how much they almost choked from laughing out loud at your circumstance. A friend makes a point of reaching out after the fact or outside of the public post to ensure that everything is all good. Fans leave encouraging words of how awesome you are; friends tell you that to your face. Which leads me to my next example, fans only interact with you online; you share actual memories with friends. Let me be clear, there are not only virtual fans, but real ones too. Of the people who show up to any and every event you have, how many of them would you actually sit down and talk to? How many would you say really know you? Who amongst them would you invite for an intimate evening with friends and family?
In most cases, the fan list outweigh the friends list. Now I must admit, this is something I have only observed from the outside. I happen to have the winning personality which only keeps the most genuine and honest people close to me. I have never been the type of person people feel they need to hang around for what I have or what I do. You really have to want to deal with me, to deal with me. Which, in my opinion, is a good thing. My fanbase is non-existant. I am okay with that and have wholeheartedly embraced it.
So again, I ask, do you have friends or fans?
*Name has been changed.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Friday, August 17, 2012
Pioneer Woman
Several months ago, I got rid of my cable. I do this every year. I get cable, the bill gets stupid, then I drop it altogether. Comcast and I usually part ways with me cursing their gangster nature and them calling their peoples on me to collect my 'oustanding balance'. A balance I take my sweet little time paying because I absolutely feel as if I have been financially sodomised. My thought is, I watch a total of about 8 channels, 5 of which are local or the national network stations; so why do I have to pay so much? I have gone without cable before, so it really does not bother me. Especially with Netflix and Hulu, I do not even give it a thought.
Well, in June, I rid myself of the internet as well. My hotspot had started malfunctioning (probably because I kept it on all day- hey you never know when you'll need to look something up, the warm up time was annoying). After several days of the runaround, I was asked to send the hotspot back to the Clear warehouse so they could investigate the problem. During this process, I was told I could either: A) have my service suspended for 6 weeks and wait until further notice. or B) Purchase a new hotspot and keep my service going until a determination was made. If it was found that the problem did not warrant a replacement hotspot, because the issue was not their fault, I would just keep my new device. If they were at fault, I would be reimbursed. I hated both of these choices, but opted to have the service suspended. I mean, I am at the Gift's house enough and his crib is fully stocked with cable, electronics and the internet. After 'testing' the device, it was determined that I was outside of my waranty period; I would have to purchase another hotspot. When the question was asked if I wanted to start my service up again, I declined. I did not like the way they handled their business.
Compound that with the fact my old school antennae is ragedy and needs to be replaced (it's complete with tin foil tips); I have been without my usual entertainment. I live in an old building in the hood, so there are no wireless connections for my phone to latch onto, making Facebook impossible. Contrary to what most people think, I have not missed any of these things. In fact, I don't even give it a thought until I tell someone and they respond with shock, saying they 'could never go without' such and such. I tell them, 'you'd be surprised'. And I think most people would. When they ask how do I 'live'. I tell them I do this crazy thing called reading. Plus, I have music and I watch DVDs. Furthermore, I don't sit in the house. I am rarely there. I typically go to bed no later than 9:30/9:45pm, so it's not like I'm up all night. Actually, I sleep better and get more rest without the typical 'entertainment'. How often do you find yourself up watching something stupid like a zombie? Knowing the liklihood of that program being replayed is high. I cannot tell you the amount of times the internet has sucked me in, keeping me up late. Who responded to that post? What shoes are on sale at Nordstrom's, Neiman's, wherever? Where is the corporate headquarters of this company? What is the latest on this blog? I had to put myself on a strict bedtime, because I would look up and it would be about 10:30 or 11pm!
Oh, and let me not forget to mention, I have no air conditioning in the summer! I know, I know!! By the time I decide to get it, the summer is over. I am a true pioneer woman, channeling my ancestors. My current ComEd bill is a whopping $14.07!! I can dig it! Life is good and I enjoy my quiet space. I do not have nearly as much clutter in my head as before. The only drawback is, there are some things that are better with T.V. on in the background- like polishing my nails. Plus, I have to make sure I read current events, since I do not watch the news as of late. All in all, it really isn't so bad.
Well, in June, I rid myself of the internet as well. My hotspot had started malfunctioning (probably because I kept it on all day- hey you never know when you'll need to look something up, the warm up time was annoying). After several days of the runaround, I was asked to send the hotspot back to the Clear warehouse so they could investigate the problem. During this process, I was told I could either: A) have my service suspended for 6 weeks and wait until further notice. or B) Purchase a new hotspot and keep my service going until a determination was made. If it was found that the problem did not warrant a replacement hotspot, because the issue was not their fault, I would just keep my new device. If they were at fault, I would be reimbursed. I hated both of these choices, but opted to have the service suspended. I mean, I am at the Gift's house enough and his crib is fully stocked with cable, electronics and the internet. After 'testing' the device, it was determined that I was outside of my waranty period; I would have to purchase another hotspot. When the question was asked if I wanted to start my service up again, I declined. I did not like the way they handled their business.
Compound that with the fact my old school antennae is ragedy and needs to be replaced (it's complete with tin foil tips); I have been without my usual entertainment. I live in an old building in the hood, so there are no wireless connections for my phone to latch onto, making Facebook impossible. Contrary to what most people think, I have not missed any of these things. In fact, I don't even give it a thought until I tell someone and they respond with shock, saying they 'could never go without' such and such. I tell them, 'you'd be surprised'. And I think most people would. When they ask how do I 'live'. I tell them I do this crazy thing called reading. Plus, I have music and I watch DVDs. Furthermore, I don't sit in the house. I am rarely there. I typically go to bed no later than 9:30/9:45pm, so it's not like I'm up all night. Actually, I sleep better and get more rest without the typical 'entertainment'. How often do you find yourself up watching something stupid like a zombie? Knowing the liklihood of that program being replayed is high. I cannot tell you the amount of times the internet has sucked me in, keeping me up late. Who responded to that post? What shoes are on sale at Nordstrom's, Neiman's, wherever? Where is the corporate headquarters of this company? What is the latest on this blog? I had to put myself on a strict bedtime, because I would look up and it would be about 10:30 or 11pm!
Oh, and let me not forget to mention, I have no air conditioning in the summer! I know, I know!! By the time I decide to get it, the summer is over. I am a true pioneer woman, channeling my ancestors. My current ComEd bill is a whopping $14.07!! I can dig it! Life is good and I enjoy my quiet space. I do not have nearly as much clutter in my head as before. The only drawback is, there are some things that are better with T.V. on in the background- like polishing my nails. Plus, I have to make sure I read current events, since I do not watch the news as of late. All in all, it really isn't so bad.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
The Best
I am a worrier. I worry about all sorts of things. One thing in particular that often concerns me is who I might be beefin' with or who I have offended. Maybe because it has been said that I have stepped on my share of toes. Whether it is intentional or not, true or false, that is what has been told to me. I was just thinking to myself, how many people in my life are not speaking to me. The number seemed huge. But upon further review, I realized that simply is not true. First, when I count the family and friends in my life who don't return texts, ain't feeling me, are not speaking to me, the number is surely not small. But, those people in my life who do, supercede it by far. Then I had to step back and define my idea of being 'in my life.' If we are not talking and have not spoken in months- hell years, no matter the familial connection. You cannot be considered 'in my life.' That fact alone allowed me to exhale.
You do your best. With family, you send that birthday text your mother reminded you about, knowing it will not be replied to- ever. You celebrate your birthday without receiving your text (I guess their mother/father did not remind them). With friends, you call them consecutively, and try to subside any irritation when the call is not answered or returned. You do your best. You give the most concrete and clear advice when you know someone is going down a less than favorable path. When they continue that journey, you SHUT THE FUCK UP! All the while, you do your best. You reach out when you can and pull back when it is necessary. And pray always. Not only for them, but mainly for you. Knowing that this is not the last time your words will be misconstrued or misunderstood. You just do your best.
You do your best. With family, you send that birthday text your mother reminded you about, knowing it will not be replied to- ever. You celebrate your birthday without receiving your text (I guess their mother/father did not remind them). With friends, you call them consecutively, and try to subside any irritation when the call is not answered or returned. You do your best. You give the most concrete and clear advice when you know someone is going down a less than favorable path. When they continue that journey, you SHUT THE FUCK UP! All the while, you do your best. You reach out when you can and pull back when it is necessary. And pray always. Not only for them, but mainly for you. Knowing that this is not the last time your words will be misconstrued or misunderstood. You just do your best.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Snappin' Off
This weekend, the Gift, straight checked this chick and I loved it! I am not a fan of men being ungentleman-like to women, but in some cases, it is necessary. There is this person who is an extension of his crew of friends. Extension meaning, I would feel the most comfortable referring to her as a groupie of sorts. She is phony and an all around clown. But she is not important. Although she sparked the conversation, she is not the least bit important. What is important is, the Gift checked her for not acknowledging me. Yes, I told on her. Mainly because she had the audacity to tell him to 'bring your girl' to her birthday celebration. When he told me that, I knew it was bull. And sure enough the next two encounters I had with her, she completely ignored me. So you were hoping I would not have enough perception to know that you do not care for me, but you want me to be in the company of all of your friends so you could diss me on your turf?...I'm straight on that. But again, I digress, it's not about her. The Gift, checked her. In a bar. So assertively and to the point, I heard parts of it over thumping house music. "How you gon(na) come in here, speak to me and not speak to my lady?! No, no, how you not gon(na) acknowledge my lady?" Yeah, get her!!
I giggled inside and I still smile when I think about it. Here is a "woman" who will come in and hug my man, ignore me completely, even though we were all in the same vicinity (you could at least wave to the group as a whole), then you sit in my man's vacant seat, which of course is right next to me, turn your back to me and commence to flick your hair repeatedly over your shoulder. Oh yeah, she was trippin'! But that's not how the story ends. She came over and heavily tapped me on my shoulders. When I turn around, she waves sheepishly and says, 'Hi'. I say, my usual, "hey, how you doing?". Then she set herself up for major failure. She extends her arms childishly, to welcome a hug. My response? "No hugs, it was good seeing you. But no hugs." Her face displayed shock and disbelief. I smiled and turned back to my conversation.
It is good to know I have someone in my corner who doesn't go for the okey-doke. He knows women can be catty, but does not see that as a reason for someone to be rude, especially not to me.
I giggled inside and I still smile when I think about it. Here is a "woman" who will come in and hug my man, ignore me completely, even though we were all in the same vicinity (you could at least wave to the group as a whole), then you sit in my man's vacant seat, which of course is right next to me, turn your back to me and commence to flick your hair repeatedly over your shoulder. Oh yeah, she was trippin'! But that's not how the story ends. She came over and heavily tapped me on my shoulders. When I turn around, she waves sheepishly and says, 'Hi'. I say, my usual, "hey, how you doing?". Then she set herself up for major failure. She extends her arms childishly, to welcome a hug. My response? "No hugs, it was good seeing you. But no hugs." Her face displayed shock and disbelief. I smiled and turned back to my conversation.
It is good to know I have someone in my corner who doesn't go for the okey-doke. He knows women can be catty, but does not see that as a reason for someone to be rude, especially not to me.
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