So it's 2012 and we are already half way through January. I have already turned over a couple of new leaves since this year has started. One of my biggest lessons that has been put on my heart in this short time, is my perception of events and more importantly how I receive and react/respond to information and situations no matter in who's favor it is. For instance, I have decided instead of telling and rethinking the story of my latest dating partner as another MJ disaster, I will state the truth. In this case that truth being, I really had two good dates with a nice gentleman. The fact that he flaked out on me for our third date and I have mysteriously not heard from him since, would be focusing on the uncontrolled negative scenario. If I twist this around and think about what really occurred, I have no choice but not to blame myself, (I did everything 'right') and not to be angry at him. Whatever the outcome, we had two good dates. That should be the focal point, nothing else.
I have also decided to stop, or at least curb my intense desire to control all things. I had started getting better at going with the flow, but my sheer annoyance with how lackadaisical people can be, brought me back to my micromanaging self. I really have to fight against it. I will get to put that in practice with a new MJ Activity I came up with (I've been on a roll lately). I want to have a Vision Board party (research). I invited about 13 friends, people I think would enjoy it and with whom I would enjoy sharing that with, my usual core group of invitees. I sent the evite out yesterday and I have been frantic ever since. I had to literally relax my nerves by reminding myself that this is something you are interested in, not necessarily them. If no one else shows up, would that really be a failure? As long as you enjoy yourself, the 'party' is a success. This may seem silly, but things like invitations and planned gatherings can bring out insecurity in me. I really must let go.
Finally, I started the year off strong, a fun NYE, two Bulls games, a 'just because' trip to NYC and my first book club meeting which I hosted. For whatever reason I did not feel like going into details here on my blog, instead I just posted on my FB fan page (make sure to 'like' it if you haven't already). My hope is this will be indicative of how the rest of 2012 will be, positive, eventful and fun. My decision is to go 'in' on this year and see what comes about.
For the record, I recognize this post is a little all over the place. I have been having writer's block, but at the same time, I had a lot to say. I think this year, I will let my mind guide me and not sensor myself as much. I want to get back to this being my journal of thoughts. Get ready!