Conscious Conscience

My conscience, the Holy Spirit, women’s intuition or whatever you feel comfortable calling it, can be annoying at times.  ‘It’ will not let me be conniving, manipulative, dishonest or troublesome even when I really want to be.  No matter how tough I am, or try to be, that voice, that tug, that nagging feeling of guilt will not go away.  Remember when I talked about Mr. Friend and the Sade tickets?  (see the last Update post)  Well, my mother had me thinking and so did a friend of mine.  Then my conscience went into overdrive.  Maybe it’s wrong not to remind him and formally invite him to the concert.  

The feeling that I was being dishonest bothered me.  Plus, someone had just given me good news.  I don’t want to block my blessings because I am being deceitful or sneaky.  So I broke down and called him.  I reminded him of the concert and asked if he still wanted to go or if he wanted me to repay him the cost of the ticket.  He said he would be attending a family reunion in Merriville, IN (who does that??), that he forgot all about it and that I should enjoy myself.  He said to consider it payback for the Blackhawks game I took him to.  I was giddy when I got off of the phone.  I thought, ‘consider it done.’  

I felt freed doing the right thing.  Plus, now everything is on the up-and-up.  I owe him nothing and I can enjoy myself completely.  When I pray, I often ask God for wisdom and discernment.  I started asking for wisdom at a really young age, around 11 or so.  I was so young, I was not really sure what wisdom meant.  But ask and you shall receive.  It puts me in a position where I sometimes think things out differently, more thoroughly.  Plus, my prayer life, as weak as I think it is sometimes, puts me in a position where God will not allow me to take the ‘easy’ way out.  It felt really uncomfortable calling him.  And truth be told, I did not want to go with him, but I was prepared to, if that’s what the situation called for.

There is only one thing better than having a conscience, having a free one.