She wants to lead the glamorous life!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Sparks are flying...

To be alive: not just the carcass
But the spark.
That's crudely put, but ...
If we're not supposed to dance,
Why all this music?

~ Gregory Orr ~
I read this poem for the first time today. I love it. It's simplicity is timeless and to the point. The message being: Live Your Life! People often say to me, "girl you're always going somewhere, doing something." My response is usually something to the effect of: "well yeah, I like to live my life and enjoy it to the fullest." Although I'm often on my blog discussing kids and marriage, relationships and such, I truly enjoy being single and being me. Whenever I think of the blessing of having the ability to just jump and move with a second's notice, I get excited and realize that may be why God has not mated me with the right person (or lately ANY person). He, like me, understands that I would have a lot of adjusting to do.

I really love living LIFE. I like that I have accomplished personal goals. I am proud of the wisdom, knowledge and even some possessions I have acquired as a single woman. I have a trip planned for next month with my best friend. I cannot wait! We put together the details in a matter of a month and a half. We kind of roll like that- living life!

I completed my first scarf this Monday. I have been wearing it and the matching hat I knitted ever since. I have always wanted to knit since I was a little girl, so to complete two projects and embark on a new one, is big. Again, I am living LIFE. Whether it's the 5K race, cruising the Mediterranean, going to a Bon Jovi concert or seeing the Blackhawks play hockey, I keep living. I keep moving.

There was a time when certain things seemed only appropriate for me to do with a man, my man. But the more time keeps ticking, I cannot be so naive to think that 'he' is promised to me. I believe in my heart I was made to love and that there is someone just right and perfect for me. But, until he comes, I have to live life as if he does not exist. I cannot wait to buy my first property with my husband, I need to start investigating this on my own now. I couldn't wait for 'him' to take me to Europe, I went with my Mama and family. It took too long for 'him' to come and take me to my first opera, did that with my Mama too. I wanted 'him' to escort me to see such soul artists as Maxwell and Jill Scott, but due to impatience I went with Nicole and had a blast. I would have loved to have knitted my first scarf for my 'beau' as some of my knitting classmates did, but making a hot pink one for me, seemed so much more appropriate. Did I want my 'boo' to frolic with me on the white beaches of Mexico, yep, but my best friend came much sooner.

As you know if you've been following my blog, there is no 'him'. But figuratively, whoever this mythical figure is, he is taking his sweet time getting to me. Therefore, my heart's desires have to be taken care of in spite of this. I have decided most of these dreams and goals, cannot wait a moment longer and must become reality now. Life really is too short. One day, the high school you is in a twin daybed in Hyde Park on a school night listening to your dad's loud t.v. through your bedroom wall and the next, you're 30 in your own apartment full from food you purchased yourself, for yourself writing on your personal blog on a work night about whatever you damn well please. The moral of this story: time waits for no one.

3 comments:

  1. Oh, Maya I was reading and enjoying your blog and then at the very end you did a Mama. It starts off with "One day you is in...."YOU IS IN"? What is that? I was just thinking how this one was good enough to be sent to some of those black zines, cause it was singing a all to common song, but then you messed up the last part. It was like a old 45 record with a big scratch in the best part. Proof read Maya, I love your writing. Your college education was the best money your Dad and I ever spent. Mama

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  2. It is to be read like: the high school you, is in a twin bed...I am speaking of myself in the past tense and stepping out of the first person mode. This draws the reader in (hopefully) to show how time flies. I am speaking of the high school Maya and the 30 year old Maya...I'll read it out loud to you, so you will know how it is to sound. Thanks!

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  3. That comma after the word you, make all the difference.

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