Labor Pains

I had a dream last night.  I had given birth to conjoined, or Siamese, twins.  They were small and perfect and fit right into the palms of my two hands.  The twins had two heads but shared everything else, a single set of arms, legs and one chest.  They were a beautiful brown and each had a full head of straight, jet-black hair.  The doctor or an authority whose face I did not see or cannot remember, said one of them would die.  I kept asking which one, but she wouldn't tell me and said I would know.  The twins shared a strong healthy heart that I could feel thumping in my hand while I held them.  Thump, thump.  When I woke this morning, I looked up the meaning of Siamese twins in a dream.  Here is what I found:

A bond between two individuals (emotional bond, family bond, marital bond, etc.)—for better or for worse, taking the good (companionship, support, etc.) with the bad (disagreements, irritations, etc.).


I am still trying to figure how this relates to me.  All I can say is I have been going through a metamorphoses lately.  I have been bold and kind of annoyed, happy and sad all at the same time, giddy and worried.  You can see my mood in the Mac Ruby Woo lipstick I bought last week and have been wearing faithfully.  Find it in my popped denim jacket collar.  Or in my stride that effortlessly moves me block after city block.  I am on a mission.  I do not know the full scope of it yet and I am not sure where it will lead, but there is a force that is moving me.  Onward.  


What struck me the most about the dream, was how the 'authority figure' had given up on the twins and my maternal instinct kicked in naturally.  I felt so comfortable and proud and hopeful, encouraged that they would survive.  That there was more life in them.  What the 'authority figure' could not see or feel or even understand, I knew.  Thump, thump.  I was moved and blessed by the notion of having given birth in the dream.  Pregnancy in dreams usually symbolize something new, a creation coming forth.  I welcome pregnancy in dreams.


When I survey how I have been feeling lately, irritated, excited, sad (I actually cried yesterday when I stepped out of bed and discovered it was cold and summer is over.) sensitive, but assertive and strong, hot in the pants and eating like a weirdo (I ate bbq chips and seafood salad for breakfast this morning), I feel like I am mimicking a pregnant woman.  If I was having an active sex life, I might be concerned.  Alas, I am not pregnant with child.  I am pregnant with possibilities.  What I am going through right now, according to an insightful friend (he is the only person I verbally shared my dream with), is the 'labor pains' that come with all pregnancies.


I am praying, not just for a speedy labor, but a healthy one.  I want to give birth to a real bundle of joy.  The kind that only God can conceive.