Calorie Counter

I have, to say the least, gained a bit of weight. Being without boot camp, Zumba or even yoga, combined with eating as if I was still taking each of  those classes, has lead to these cute hips spreading. So until I get back on a regular fitness routine, I have started counting calories again. It's pretty intense. Although I know I'm annoying everyone around me. I can't stop. It becomes a challenge for the control freak in me. I want to own those calories. I want to dominate them.

Whenever I'm in this mode and mindset, my greatest ally is Livestrong.com's My Plate program. I tell it my weight, that I want to lose 2lbs each week and let the fun begin. Apparently I'm not the only one. There are so many calorie calculations, both verified by the site and just average folks adding their 2 cents based on their own findings and the portions they have consumed.  If I can't find my food item there,I begin my search elsewhere.  The good thing is I'm able to prepare before a meal. Going out for tacos and tequila? Which is less- battered fish or steak? How many calories are in a skinny margarita? Meeting a friend for cocktails after work?  What's the caloric difference between vodka dirty martinis and those made with gin?  Counting beforehand, keeps me from blowing my 'count' for the day. It makes me more conscious and cautious about the things I ingest. Also I can prepare. If I want ice cream later on, I keep items I eat during the day, to a minimum. Yes, I've become a sort of food Nazi. But I mean well and I have to be accountable for my weight.  How many calories have you taken in today?

Don't Get So Upset

I have been told numerous times "don't get so upset". What most people consider as me being upset, I look at as my natural "spirited" nature. I love a good animated chat, debate even. Things can and do get under my skin. But I think what really gets me riled up is how others have a hard time being understanding about you (me) getting "upset". Because you have deemed something as not important doesn't mean there is no validity to the subject at hand. What is water under the bridge to me, may mean everything to you.  When you, with a wave of the hand, blow it off with a "why do you even care?", it seems a little dismissive. 

What I have decided, is not to be someone's entertainment. I won't go on one of my Julia Sugarbaker/ Bill Mahr/Tommy Gavin rants for someone else's shits and giggles.  I won't provide the laughs as I speak on subjects that mean something to me, no matter how trivial it seems. Some opinions are better left to one's private thoughts. Lesson learned.

The Line

I am standing in a line waiting for my girlfriend. We're attending an Eric Benet listening party tonight. She's running late, I'm already ready to go. You see I hate waiting in lines. Especially to get into a club or event like this, where I cannot guarantee that the event will be worth the wait. Also, it bothers me how promoters advertise an exclusive event that ends up feeling like a cattle call.  The event is free, but you must rsvp to enter. "Your name has been added to their list." Furthermore, you're dressed for a nice event. Which means heels are usually a must. It gets tiring standing on any heel for a certain period of time(s). And lastly, you get to see just how petty women/girls can be about one another. You hear the sudden hush when a outfit comes by. Or the snickers. It is sad and so predictable. I'm guilty myself. Maybe, shoot probably, the reason I hate this is because I, myself don't want to be judged. That's junior high school MJ talking.  I used to have the same anxieties in school.  Certain situations just never seemed right or felt comfortable.  I guess I just need to build up my shield and brave myself.

Stretching the Weekend

I had a really good weekend.  A while back I learned the secret to stretching your weekend.  Here are my tips:

Go out during the week. Friday and Saturday nights are, well let's face it, amateur night. Try a Tuesday night activity. Catch a movie on Wednesday. Or do drinks on a Thursday.

To piggyback on the previous point, if you can at least do something Friday, it seems to feel like a lifetime away from Sunday.

If you can, "get up and at 'em" on one of those off days, it just gives you the feeling that you have more of your day.

Finally, if you can help it, be greedy about your days off. Only do what you want to do. You already may feel annoyed by work, why have more tension on your free days. For the parents, I'll give you a pass on this one.

Yep, those are my non- scientific, but tested by yours truly, methods for a successfully stretched weekend.  If you have any tips of your own, please share.

Death of a Neighbor

Ever since the 'Gift' and I have been hanging tough, I have a new 'weekend spot'.  I put it in quotation marks because my visits/stays have consistently exceeded what one would consider an actual weekend.  At first I referred to his place as the Weekender, now it's more like my second home.  I go to my actual home every few days to restock my clothes for the Weekender.  On Friday I stopped to pick up some things.  On the door at the front entrance of my building was a handwritten note with memorial service arrangements for one of my neighbors.  This particular neighbor is not necessarily young, but I still felt the need to double check to make sure I was thinking of the right person.  I have another neighbor who will be turning at least 95 years old next month; my mind kept thinking it was her.

On another neighbor's door across the hall from the deceased was a note giving him the memorial service details and asking if he would like to be a pallbearer.  What was weird about that request is that he has not been in the building longer than about 6-8 months at the most.  That made me sad.  Then I felt like I missed something.  I know I could not have stopped her from dying, but I still feel like I have been away too long.  I liked that neighbor.  I have never been in her apartment, or chatted with her beyond just basic pleasantries, but I liked her.  She would speak to me with her body blocking her doorway; I could never see inside.  But she never got in my business.  When I had a slight flood in my apartment, she left a note on my door warning me not to turn the lights on for fear of electrocution.  I remember her walking up and down the hallway stairs as a form of exercise after most of the building was out to work.  Once I was awakened early in the morning by my apartment buzzer being pushed frantically; she yelled, in a panic and inaudibly through the intercom, "Fire!  Fire!"  Another neighbor, who is no longer in the building (thank goodness), had set her apartment on fire in a drunken and/or drugged stupor for the second or third time.

Most people these days don't even know their neighbors; I'm guilty of that myself.  So it really saddens me that one of the good, old school neighbors, has literally, left the building.

The Registry

On sunday, one of my good girlfriends is having a baby shower, in celebration and anticipation of her first child.  If you knew my girlfriend, you would understand how exciting it is that she is expecting a little princess for her to spoil with loads of tulle, pink, bows and ribbons- whether separate or in one giant girl explosion!  This kid will want for nothing.  I have to admit, this is the first time I have ever really shopped for a baby gift with the guidance of the parent's registry.  I either get a gift card, or buy some random cuteness in the form of miniature clothes.  But this time around, with the help of my Financial Advisor (my mom), I gave the dollar amount I could/wanted to spend and together we hit Target's baby aisles with our blue paper printed gift registry.

The two of us were totally out of our element, my mother being out of practice and me, just out of the know.  We were matching item numbers and prices; looking for the right color.  There is a major difference between a ball and a rattle ball.  One rattles, the other does not.  It seems simple now that I know, but I came really close to throwing the wrong item in the bag.  A blanket we envisioned in our minds to be full sized, ended up being a cloth that wouldn't even cover my belly (that's not saying much since I can't seem to put the cocktails and brownines down-hold your laughter please) with a cuddly toy attached.  "This can't be it", my mom said.  "That's it", I replied after carefully reading the description for the umpteenth time.  We had a couple of those conversations.

When it was all said and done, I only went $4 over my allowed budget and I got some great items!  We tried to mix it up- cute and pratical.  Today, just for giggles, I checked the registry again to see if the uber friendly check-out girl (I'm being sarcastic, she barely parted her lips to speak) properly scanned each item to reflect on the list.  She did.  I must say, it was kind of fun.  I could not have invited a more worthy partner in my scavenger hunt.  Do you like registries?  Or do you prefer gift cards?

The Friday Blahs

I went to bed fussy last night.  Although I slept well, it spilled over into my morning, not with anger, but nostalgia and a bit of sadness.  The weather here in Chicago is not helping either.  It makes me want to crawl in the bed, cry and sleep it (whatever 'it' is) off.  For that reason, I am glad I had to come to work today.  I would have just put myself in an even funkier mood if I stayed home alone.  In this way, work can be a relief.  The song I had to listen to this morning, is the same song I have had to listen to for about a week now:  Gladys Knight and the Pips, 'You're Number One (In My Book)'.  It pulls all the emotions I am feeling into a pile that I can sing out as a feelings exhale.  Gladys' voice, like molasses, is thick and rich and I can't get enough.

Yes, it's good that I am out of the house.  If not, I would be on the couch or in bed playing that song over and over and over again.  Hoping that it would release me from this feeling.  Whatever this feeling is.

Click to listen.

That was earlier...

Now, I feel great!  I received one last birthday week roundup gift from 'the Gift' in the form of a gift basket that totally caught me by surprise.  A co-worker bought me lunch, which was yummy.  And I had a couple of after work drinks with some girls from work.  Plus, the sun has come out.  I like these 'then and now' posts.  They truly help me put things in perspective.  What may start out as a crappy morning, can turn into a beautiful afternoon.  Cheers to the freakin' weekend!