I am a girl who gets waxed. Since maintaining my budget has become my number one goal, that 'minor' grooming detail has fallen by the wasteside. The longer I went without being waxed, the more I dreaded the appointment that needed to be made. If you've ever been waxed, you know the more time in between visits, the worst your next visit will be. Because at some point, it's like starting over from scratch. Well today was my starting-over-from-scratch day and let me tell you...it was not nice. I winced and called out to Jesus and even grabbed my girl M's hand once telling her to, 'hold on, hold on'. It wasn't fun, but I love it. One, because the end result is so worth it. And two, my girl and I can catch up and talk. M has known me since I was 19; I will be 32 in in 12 days. So we have history. She is old enough to be my young mom, so throughout our friendship she has always imparted wisdom in that sista-girlfriend way you can't get from everybody.
Today, as she meticulously ripped hot wax, along with any rooted and visible hair, from my body, she said I seemed a bit 'melancholy'. At first I told her I was fine, but she knew I wasn't being honest. I finally broke it down and told her what I've been thinking. Stuff that has been going on, that I haven't really talked to anybody about. I posed the question, 'do people really want you to be honest and vocal or just play the role?' I went on to discuss how I have stated some facts in a few recent situations and the end results weren't what I would have liked. How I feel as though I say what everybody is thinking, but when I look up, I'm alone and no one is there to back me. She said, very simply, 'that's too much conversation. You know how bitches are. Don't sweat the small stuff.' If people want to sit on the sidelines and not say anything, she instructed me to do the same. More or less, 'do you and keep it moving'. She said this was even important with family when I discussed some not so visible but totally evident family conflicts. Although this is simple enough, there are some lessons that just hit you at the right time, when spoken by the right person.
So I will do that- not sweat the small stuff. I read the Richard Carlson book with that phrase as it's title, years ago, and it apparently is still relevant today. In addition to today's 'lesson', I keep hearing my mother in my ear saying, 'stop complaining'. The small stuff, whatever that may be, needs to be let go. As I left, I reminded M of my impending birthday, she smiled and said, 'you're still a baby. A big baby, but a baby.' Realizing how much and how fast babies learn, all I can do is smile and think of the possibilities.