CONFESSION: I am hot!! I am not referring to the, as my mother refers to it, 'ghetto project heat' in my apartment. I am speaking of the heat that radiates within. The sizzles that makes your body ache in the midnight hours. The sometimes throbbing pulse that makes it hard to concentrate. That thump that makes regular dudes start to look like Idris.
I will spare you the details of how long and with whom and so on and so forth. But I will say, it has been a minute. Every time I think I have hit my brick wall, another month will pass and I think to myself, 'whoa, this is crazy!' I have a good girlfriend studying ministry who lights up when I talk about it. To her, this is the way it is supposed to be until you are married. Hmmm, something to think about. Another friend scoffs when I tell her I have no prospects. She thinks I have potential suitors to cool the fire, I just have to separate my feelings from the act. That is much easier said than done. A male friend of mine shared her sentiments, stating, and I quote, 'You need to take care of that. You're too young.' He feels I need to have someone knock the dust off of these pipes for my sanity's sake.
I agree with all sides of the argument. Yes, I feel if I do not cool off soon, I will implode. But, no, why waste my time (and sweat) on someone not worthy? This means my 'throwbacks' are out. If the person is 'new' that presents an even greater problem, because you take on the risk that it won't be good period. No emotion added to bad attempt, we are talking an all around disaster. Since I cannot be guaranteed it will be a Jimmy 'JJ' Walker dy-no-mite-esque experience, I think I will pass. While my internal thermostat continues to go up, I will increase my cold showers, pick up my knitting again (don't be surprised if you see me on the boulevard with a full knitted suit!), try some new arts and crafts and just keep praying that someone worthy of these rolling hills will show up soon.