It's a fine line between being alone and feeling lonely. I have found that there is an art to being alone. Sometimes aloneness can feel perfectly natural and good, and at other times, absolutely depressing. What I used to define as a lack of activities and energy, I now see as more of a lack of esteem and confidence. I have found that the more I become unconditionally comfortable with myself, the more I enjoy being by myself. And I don't mean that as a "I can do bad by my damn self" type of sentiment, but rather, I really enjoy my own company and spending time alone. In years past, I could do this from time to time, but it either took a lot of effort, or the feeling would be fleeting. I would try to schedule all kinds of activities and appointments with friends and family. I wanted someone by my side a lot of the time. I felt like I needed it. Truthfully, I didn't then and I don't now. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and family and I love spending time with them. It's just that now, I look forward to being at home. In her book Why You're Not Married...Yet, author Tracy McMillan writes about "coming home to [insert your name here]". That's what I have been doing, coming home to myself. I view my home and time alone as a respite. It rejuvenates me. And when I have had enough of the outside world, I know I have a place to come home to. But catch this: home is not the building, home is ME. Just like "home" is YOU. I feel like the more I look to myself as a place of shelter, the less I seek out others to fill the "voids" I may see myself as having. Whether binge-watching my favorite shows, having a cocktail to cap off my day, journaling, meditating, trying out a new recipe or a long soak in the tub with a book, I treat myself well by allowing myself to just be.
What are some of the things you like to do alone?
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