Hello again...
Lately, I have been itching to have my voice be heard. On top of having an incessant creative pull, I really just want to be heard. And seen. But definitely heard. Inspired by
Solange's Black Planet takeover and album release, I decided to drag this dusty-ass blog out of its proverbial storage closet of my mind, reviving it and giving it its due. For now, I'll keep the vintage feel of it and not spend too much time trying to update it with sleek features and whatnot. So please excuse the purple and turquoise layout, and the goofy font.
I have scratched the idea of just letting this die, and starting a whole new writing space for myself. So much growth has occurred between the inception of this blog, nearly a decade ago,
March 25, 2010. (If you clicked to the link, did you cringe as badly as I did reading it?) My old posts are admittedly a mess. I wasn't nearly as problematic as I could have been, but I have some low-lights. Like
this one about celebrating a birthday at a strip club, where in order to "save money", I would pick up the singles floating my way, that some man had thrown in the air in an effort to "make it rain", and gently tuck them into a dancer's g-string. At some point in the story, I ended up keeping a dollar. That was definitely inappropriate. That was not my money to take. I owe those girls a dollar.
The only regret I have is the one, or possibly two, posts I actually deleted after publishing. One of which I was pressured to take down by an ex-boyfriend who did not want to embarrass his bro-mantic partner. The gist of my post was, I wrote about how much I hated double dates and how I hated having to be instantly friends with the other date, in this case a woman who was a total bitch. I complained to my boyfriend at the time about it, and how I never wanted to hang out with her again. He said I was being catty. I wrote about whether or not I was. He saw it, and fearful that his bosom buddy would see the post (like anybody but my Mama and a toddler-sized handful of friends was actually reading that shit), he asked me to take the post down. At that point in my life, I had laid to rest my
I don't give a fuck ways and was in full-swing "good girlfriend" mode. So when I say I disappeared that post, I mean to this day, I can't even find the draft on my computer.
Before deleting the post, I had consulted a good friend, who suggested I just keep a "journal to write all [my] feelings and thoughts down". So maybe I was out of pocket and my blog was getting too personal. The final straw that culminated me veering away from writing my stories and my truths, was a friendship that had gone sour. The person was STILL READING THIS SHIT, and using my writing to stir up trouble in our larger friend group. Like, was it that good homie, or were you just being a creep? I'll bet the latter. Either way, it felt like there was an audience who read it to see if they would be mentioned, and those who genuinely liked it. I let the few people who had negative feedback get in my head and slowly tried to change the scope of the blog and steadily posted less and less.
My last post was
July 13, 2016: How to Successfully Plan Time With Your Girlfriends When You've Got Shit to Do. I have no clue what prompted that post. But I do know that I still have a lot to say and I don't want anyone, outside of myself, ever again making calls on when and how I can/should say it. I have a few projects I'm working on and I would love to share them with you all. I plan on launching a newsletter and an e-commerce shop. I want to be visible and I want to share my gifts with whomever wants to experience it, even if it's just my Mama (Hey Ma!). In the past 2.5 plus years, so much has happened- I traveled to London, Hawaii, Cuba. My Dad passed away. I quit my job. I bought a co-op. I chopped all of my hair off and watched it grow back. I interviewed with Common to be his personal assistant (true story. We parted with a handshake and him telling me he'd call me after Thanksgiving. I never heard back... so technically, that job is still possible, right?) The point is, these our stories I could have not just been sharing, but cataloguing for my own historical files. I do keep a journal- just cracked open a new one yesterday, but why not let my voice be heard? I've got stories to tell and I'm ready to share.
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| July 2016 |
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| June 2010 |
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| January 2019 |
