I am standing in a line waiting for my girlfriend. We're attending an Eric Benet listening party tonight. She's running late, I'm already ready to go. You see I hate waiting in lines. Especially to get into a club or event like this, where I cannot guarantee that the event will be worth the wait. Also, it bothers me how promoters advertise an exclusive event that ends up feeling like a cattle call. The event is free, but you must rsvp to enter. "Your name has been added to their list." Furthermore, you're dressed for a nice event. Which means heels are usually a must. It gets tiring standing on any heel for a certain period of time(s). And lastly, you get to see just how petty women/girls can be about one another. You hear the sudden hush when a outfit comes by. Or the snickers. It is sad and so predictable. I'm guilty myself. Maybe, shoot probably, the reason I hate this is because I, myself don't want to be judged. That's junior high school MJ talking. I used to have the same anxieties in school. Certain situations just never seemed right or felt comfortable. I guess I just need to build up my shield and brave myself.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Monday, June 4, 2012
Stretching the Weekend
I had a really good weekend. A while back I learned the secret to stretching your weekend. Here are my tips:
Go out during the week. Friday and Saturday nights are, well let's face it, amateur night. Try a Tuesday night activity. Catch a movie on Wednesday. Or do drinks on a Thursday.
To piggyback on the previous point, if you can at least do something Friday, it seems to feel like a lifetime away from Sunday.
If you can, "get up and at 'em" on one of those off days, it just gives you the feeling that you have more of your day.
Finally, if you can help it, be greedy about your days off. Only do what you want to do. You already may feel annoyed by work, why have more tension on your free days. For the parents, I'll give you a pass on this one.
Yep, those are my non- scientific, but tested by yours truly, methods for a successfully stretched weekend. If you have any tips of your own, please share.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Death of a Neighbor
Ever since the 'Gift' and I have been hanging tough, I have a new 'weekend spot'. I put it in quotation marks because my visits/stays have consistently exceeded what one would consider an actual weekend. At first I referred to his place as the Weekender, now it's more like my second home. I go to my actual home every few days to restock my clothes for the Weekender. On Friday I stopped to pick up some things. On the door at the front entrance of my building was a handwritten note with memorial service arrangements for one of my neighbors. This particular neighbor is not necessarily young, but I still felt the need to double check to make sure I was thinking of the right person. I have another neighbor who will be turning at least 95 years old next month; my mind kept thinking it was her.
On another neighbor's door across the hall from the deceased was a note giving him the memorial service details and asking if he would like to be a pallbearer. What was weird about that request is that he has not been in the building longer than about 6-8 months at the most. That made me sad. Then I felt like I missed something. I know I could not have stopped her from dying, but I still feel like I have been away too long. I liked that neighbor. I have never been in her apartment, or chatted with her beyond just basic pleasantries, but I liked her. She would speak to me with her body blocking her doorway; I could never see inside. But she never got in my business. When I had a slight flood in my apartment, she left a note on my door warning me not to turn the lights on for fear of electrocution. I remember her walking up and down the hallway stairs as a form of exercise after most of the building was out to work. Once I was awakened early in the morning by my apartment buzzer being pushed frantically; she yelled, in a panic and inaudibly through the intercom, "Fire! Fire!" Another neighbor, who is no longer in the building (thank goodness), had set her apartment on fire in a drunken and/or drugged stupor for the second or third time.
Most people these days don't even know their neighbors; I'm guilty of that myself. So it really saddens me that one of the good, old school neighbors, has literally, left the building.
On another neighbor's door across the hall from the deceased was a note giving him the memorial service details and asking if he would like to be a pallbearer. What was weird about that request is that he has not been in the building longer than about 6-8 months at the most. That made me sad. Then I felt like I missed something. I know I could not have stopped her from dying, but I still feel like I have been away too long. I liked that neighbor. I have never been in her apartment, or chatted with her beyond just basic pleasantries, but I liked her. She would speak to me with her body blocking her doorway; I could never see inside. But she never got in my business. When I had a slight flood in my apartment, she left a note on my door warning me not to turn the lights on for fear of electrocution. I remember her walking up and down the hallway stairs as a form of exercise after most of the building was out to work. Once I was awakened early in the morning by my apartment buzzer being pushed frantically; she yelled, in a panic and inaudibly through the intercom, "Fire! Fire!" Another neighbor, who is no longer in the building (thank goodness), had set her apartment on fire in a drunken and/or drugged stupor for the second or third time.
Most people these days don't even know their neighbors; I'm guilty of that myself. So it really saddens me that one of the good, old school neighbors, has literally, left the building.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
The Registry
On sunday, one of my good girlfriends is having a baby shower, in celebration and anticipation of her first child. If you knew my girlfriend, you would understand how exciting it is that she is expecting a little princess for her to spoil with loads of tulle, pink, bows and ribbons- whether separate or in one giant girl explosion! This kid will want for nothing. I have to admit, this is the first time I have ever really shopped for a baby gift with the guidance of the parent's registry. I either get a gift card, or buy some random cuteness in the form of miniature clothes. But this time around, with the help of my Financial Advisor (my mom), I gave the dollar amount I could/wanted to spend and together we hit Target's baby aisles with our blue paper printed gift registry.
The two of us were totally out of our element, my mother being out of practice and me, just out of the know. We were matching item numbers and prices; looking for the right color. There is a major difference between a ball and a rattle ball. One rattles, the other does not. It seems simple now that I know, but I came really close to throwing the wrong item in the bag. A blanket we envisioned in our minds to be full sized, ended up being a cloth that wouldn't even cover my belly (that's not saying much since I can't seem to put the cocktails and brownines down-hold your laughter please) with a cuddly toy attached. "This can't be it", my mom said. "That's it", I replied after carefully reading the description for the umpteenth time. We had a couple of those conversations.
When it was all said and done, I only went $4 over my allowed budget and I got some great items! We tried to mix it up- cute and pratical. Today, just for giggles, I checked the registry again to see if the uber friendly check-out girl (I'm being sarcastic, she barely parted her lips to speak) properly scanned each item to reflect on the list. She did. I must say, it was kind of fun. I could not have invited a more worthy partner in my scavenger hunt. Do you like registries? Or do you prefer gift cards?
The two of us were totally out of our element, my mother being out of practice and me, just out of the know. We were matching item numbers and prices; looking for the right color. There is a major difference between a ball and a rattle ball. One rattles, the other does not. It seems simple now that I know, but I came really close to throwing the wrong item in the bag. A blanket we envisioned in our minds to be full sized, ended up being a cloth that wouldn't even cover my belly (that's not saying much since I can't seem to put the cocktails and brownines down-hold your laughter please) with a cuddly toy attached. "This can't be it", my mom said. "That's it", I replied after carefully reading the description for the umpteenth time. We had a couple of those conversations.
When it was all said and done, I only went $4 over my allowed budget and I got some great items! We tried to mix it up- cute and pratical. Today, just for giggles, I checked the registry again to see if the uber friendly check-out girl (I'm being sarcastic, she barely parted her lips to speak) properly scanned each item to reflect on the list. She did. I must say, it was kind of fun. I could not have invited a more worthy partner in my scavenger hunt. Do you like registries? Or do you prefer gift cards?
Friday, June 1, 2012
The Friday Blahs
I went to bed fussy last night. Although I slept well, it spilled over into my morning, not with anger, but nostalgia and a bit of sadness. The weather here in Chicago is not helping either. It makes me want to crawl in the bed, cry and sleep it (whatever 'it' is) off. For that reason, I am glad I had to come to work today. I would have just put myself in an even funkier mood if I stayed home alone. In this way, work can be a relief. The song I had to listen to this morning, is the same song I have had to listen to for about a week now: Gladys Knight and the Pips, 'You're Number One (In My Book)'. It pulls all the emotions I am feeling into a pile that I can sing out as a feelings exhale. Gladys' voice, like molasses, is thick and rich and I can't get enough.
Yes, it's good that I am out of the house. If not, I would be on the couch or in bed playing that song over and over and over again. Hoping that it would release me from this feeling. Whatever this feeling is.
Click to listen.
That was earlier...
Now, I feel great! I received one last birthday week roundup gift from 'the Gift' in the form of a gift basket that totally caught me by surprise. A co-worker bought me lunch, which was yummy. And I had a couple of after work drinks with some girls from work. Plus, the sun has come out. I like these 'then and now' posts. They truly help me put things in perspective. What may start out as a crappy morning, can turn into a beautiful afternoon. Cheers to the freakin' weekend!
Yes, it's good that I am out of the house. If not, I would be on the couch or in bed playing that song over and over and over again. Hoping that it would release me from this feeling. Whatever this feeling is.
Click to listen.
That was earlier...
Now, I feel great! I received one last birthday week roundup gift from 'the Gift' in the form of a gift basket that totally caught me by surprise. A co-worker bought me lunch, which was yummy. And I had a couple of after work drinks with some girls from work. Plus, the sun has come out. I like these 'then and now' posts. They truly help me put things in perspective. What may start out as a crappy morning, can turn into a beautiful afternoon. Cheers to the freakin' weekend!
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Wax On, Wax Off
I am a girl who gets waxed. Since maintaining my budget has become my number one goal, that 'minor' grooming detail has fallen by the wasteside. The longer I went without being waxed, the more I dreaded the appointment that needed to be made. If you've ever been waxed, you know the more time in between visits, the worst your next visit will be. Because at some point, it's like starting over from scratch. Well today was my starting-over-from-scratch day and let me tell you...it was not nice. I winced and called out to Jesus and even grabbed my girl M's hand once telling her to, 'hold on, hold on'. It wasn't fun, but I love it. One, because the end result is so worth it. And two, my girl and I can catch up and talk. M has known me since I was 19; I will be 32 in in 12 days. So we have history. She is old enough to be my young mom, so throughout our friendship she has always imparted wisdom in that sista-girlfriend way you can't get from everybody.
Today, as she meticulously ripped hot wax, along with any rooted and visible hair, from my body, she said I seemed a bit 'melancholy'. At first I told her I was fine, but she knew I wasn't being honest. I finally broke it down and told her what I've been thinking. Stuff that has been going on, that I haven't really talked to anybody about. I posed the question, 'do people really want you to be honest and vocal or just play the role?' I went on to discuss how I have stated some facts in a few recent situations and the end results weren't what I would have liked. How I feel as though I say what everybody is thinking, but when I look up, I'm alone and no one is there to back me. She said, very simply, 'that's too much conversation. You know how bitches are. Don't sweat the small stuff.' If people want to sit on the sidelines and not say anything, she instructed me to do the same. More or less, 'do you and keep it moving'. She said this was even important with family when I discussed some not so visible but totally evident family conflicts. Although this is simple enough, there are some lessons that just hit you at the right time, when spoken by the right person.
So I will do that- not sweat the small stuff. I read the Richard Carlson book with that phrase as it's title, years ago, and it apparently is still relevant today. In addition to today's 'lesson', I keep hearing my mother in my ear saying, 'stop complaining'. The small stuff, whatever that may be, needs to be let go. As I left, I reminded M of my impending birthday, she smiled and said, 'you're still a baby. A big baby, but a baby.' Realizing how much and how fast babies learn, all I can do is smile and think of the possibilities.
Today, as she meticulously ripped hot wax, along with any rooted and visible hair, from my body, she said I seemed a bit 'melancholy'. At first I told her I was fine, but she knew I wasn't being honest. I finally broke it down and told her what I've been thinking. Stuff that has been going on, that I haven't really talked to anybody about. I posed the question, 'do people really want you to be honest and vocal or just play the role?' I went on to discuss how I have stated some facts in a few recent situations and the end results weren't what I would have liked. How I feel as though I say what everybody is thinking, but when I look up, I'm alone and no one is there to back me. She said, very simply, 'that's too much conversation. You know how bitches are. Don't sweat the small stuff.' If people want to sit on the sidelines and not say anything, she instructed me to do the same. More or less, 'do you and keep it moving'. She said this was even important with family when I discussed some not so visible but totally evident family conflicts. Although this is simple enough, there are some lessons that just hit you at the right time, when spoken by the right person.
So I will do that- not sweat the small stuff. I read the Richard Carlson book with that phrase as it's title, years ago, and it apparently is still relevant today. In addition to today's 'lesson', I keep hearing my mother in my ear saying, 'stop complaining'. The small stuff, whatever that may be, needs to be let go. As I left, I reminded M of my impending birthday, she smiled and said, 'you're still a baby. A big baby, but a baby.' Realizing how much and how fast babies learn, all I can do is smile and think of the possibilities.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Run Tell Dat!
Last week it was announced that the Houston family would be given and starring in their very own reality show on Lifetime. Centered around Whitney Houston's daughter, Bobbi Kristina, her mother, Cissy, best friend and manager, Pat, brother, Gary and cousin, Dionne Warwick, the premise is a family healing and trying to move forward after such a tragic loss. Let me first say, that I loved and still love Whitney Houston. So much so, that with the exception of my mom (who was equally hurt) I really don't talk about how her death impacted me or her death at all for that matter. The death of some celebrities and notables affect me more and greater than others, she was one of them. With that said, I think this reality show is a bad idea.
I think the best way to move on and honor the memory of someone you care about, is to move forward with dignity and privacy. Silence is a response. It must be hard to heal with cameras stalking you and everyone wanting a statement. Which is more of a reason to pull out of the spotlight, not rush right into it. I personally am and have been for quite some time, tired and annoyed with most 'reality' shows. They are too formulaic and dramatic, while trying so hard to claim real life. What boggles my mind more than reality shows, is their popularity! More often than not, I feel like I'm watching a train wreck. I cannot understand people's desire to put all of there business out on front street. Then it occurred to me, we all are guilty of starring in reality shows of some sort. Did you play a high scoring word on Words With Friends? Post it! Invite someone new to Pinterest? Post it! Having dinner with friends? Post it! Enjoying a good bottle of wine? Post it! Changed your dating status from blank to blank? Post it! At a concert for one of your favorite singers? Post it! Staying in and making it a Netflix night? Post that too! Whether it be Facebook or Twitter, FourSquare or Pinterest, Blogger or Wordpress, we are all guilty of this reality show phenomena. We all feel we have a story to tell, whether we are limited to 140 characters or blogging all of our thoughts out (raises hand shyly); we are all guilty. Is it that we are searching for validation or proof that, 'yes, I have a life. Look at me, I'm living it!'? Or is it all of the years where we have been relegated to only our close circle of friends and family, that make us feel our thoughts and opinions much stretch further, spread wider?
When I first heard about the show, my thought was, 'how tacky'. I still feel it's tacky, but my overall judgement has dissipated. In fact, within the last couple of months, encouraged by my 'Gift', I have made an effort to seriously think of the necessity to post my every waking thought, action or opinion. Things that I once thought were a 'must post', now have his voice ringing in my head, 'who cares?' or 'I don't think you should put that on Facebook.' I have often purposefully typed out my thoughts to share, only to reread it several times and decide, who really cares? Not just honesty, but also privacy is the best policy.
I think the best way to move on and honor the memory of someone you care about, is to move forward with dignity and privacy. Silence is a response. It must be hard to heal with cameras stalking you and everyone wanting a statement. Which is more of a reason to pull out of the spotlight, not rush right into it. I personally am and have been for quite some time, tired and annoyed with most 'reality' shows. They are too formulaic and dramatic, while trying so hard to claim real life. What boggles my mind more than reality shows, is their popularity! More often than not, I feel like I'm watching a train wreck. I cannot understand people's desire to put all of there business out on front street. Then it occurred to me, we all are guilty of starring in reality shows of some sort. Did you play a high scoring word on Words With Friends? Post it! Invite someone new to Pinterest? Post it! Having dinner with friends? Post it! Enjoying a good bottle of wine? Post it! Changed your dating status from blank to blank? Post it! At a concert for one of your favorite singers? Post it! Staying in and making it a Netflix night? Post that too! Whether it be Facebook or Twitter, FourSquare or Pinterest, Blogger or Wordpress, we are all guilty of this reality show phenomena. We all feel we have a story to tell, whether we are limited to 140 characters or blogging all of our thoughts out (raises hand shyly); we are all guilty. Is it that we are searching for validation or proof that, 'yes, I have a life. Look at me, I'm living it!'? Or is it all of the years where we have been relegated to only our close circle of friends and family, that make us feel our thoughts and opinions much stretch further, spread wider?
When I first heard about the show, my thought was, 'how tacky'. I still feel it's tacky, but my overall judgement has dissipated. In fact, within the last couple of months, encouraged by my 'Gift', I have made an effort to seriously think of the necessity to post my every waking thought, action or opinion. Things that I once thought were a 'must post', now have his voice ringing in my head, 'who cares?' or 'I don't think you should put that on Facebook.' I have often purposefully typed out my thoughts to share, only to reread it several times and decide, who really cares? Not just honesty, but also privacy is the best policy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)